Dasar Pandang Ke Hadapan

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

No, this is not an entry about how I treated my Ramadhan, it was the story before and after it. Eh (?)

SOMETIMES I challenge my fear by doing things against it. Whenever I am afraid or dislike any things, I practice hitting the like button and whenever I suppose to avoid or forget things, I end up following, investigating and learn from them until I get bored and simply forgot to continue those ritual. That's how I stop doing unnecessary thing by chasing them until it become tiresome. Why? Because I don't want to repeat my past by putting a wall, or deleting, or blocking, or even hating until I end up crying [hah. so immature me]. Please don't do these at home.

Am I look scary enough? Hope no one will over estimate my emotionally undeveloped side. I don't know how people see me, but my life so far is pretty good, stillness and complete calm, enjoying life with my precious friends around. I have something I need to overcome, kind of treatment. So, I need time to heals, some more time to learn. Grabbing some confidence and skills, insyaAllah. I am begging for Allah's mercy and blessings to become a better person. I feel sorry for somebody someone I never learn to know, or I may even cause displeasure to certain people I hardly known in person. I may end up saying sorry without proper explanations and left things hanging.

Sometimes I think being a non-reactive also may cause trouble. That's why I am deeply in need of forgiveness. I secretly wish that may this special upcoming day, they will accidentally thinking about this unimportant person (me!) and say "I should just forgive and forget her", may they be blessed and may Allah grant me a new heart to continue breathing peacefully. It just not the right timing. Salahkan timing, not me :P Peace!

With that, I can announce my new shout for upcoming Syawal and see how long it would be: "Dasar Pandang ke Depan". Baru lah boleh cakap, "Sorry, I don't stick to the past" hikhik :P OK. Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin, halalkan makan minum, ilmu dan segala harta kalian buat saya! Moga kita sentiasa hidup dalam doa masing-masing. InsyaAllah. Me going back to Malaysia on third Syawal is not a secret anymore, may our journey home safe and easy. I'm looking forward for my love ones, who never ever leave me...yet.hehe.

Although I really wanted to forget my past, they surely will remain as my precious moments I ever have. Deep inside me, I know I love them fillah. Everyone I know have become my special ones. Tehee!

Thank you and Jazakumullahkhair to those it may concern :)